Building off of the hugely successful post “How to Tell a Trail Runner from a Hipster”, I bring you the next installment. While I partake in both road and trail running, I confess that I consider myself more of a trail runner. These are some of the more humorous sterotypes/jokes that I have heard in the past. They are meant as humor, not to take seriously or be offensive. So with that, enjoy and, as always, please post new ones to the comments thread.
- Road runners can tell you their per mile split pace; trail runners can tell you their per mile elevation gain.
- Road runners run for PRs; trail runners run for beer.
- Road runners buy matching clothes from a specialty running store; trail runners buy whatever comes in their size from the super discount rack at TJ Maxx.
- Road runners use a port-a-potty; trail runners use the hole they just dug off of the side of the trail.
- Road runners run hills; trail runners run HILLS!
- Road runners run fast; trail runners are glorified hikers.
- Road runners manage pain with ibuprofen; trail runners use whiskey.
- Road runners stop at crosswalks; trail runners stop for moose crossings.
- Road runners use running tights to stay warm; trail runners use body hair.
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Ultrarunner Joe 
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You’re supposed to dig a hole?
A road runner’s Garmin chimes at every mile while a trail runner’s only chimes when the battery dies.
That’s a good looking trail runner in the picture! I was probably trying not to let the beer foam come out of my nose!
Modification needed for #2
Road runners drink beer to celebrate finishing a run or a race. Trail runners drink beer to hydrate during a run or race.
I knew I was correct in packing the Jack Daniels!
Wait, where is the toenail reference?!? Roadrunners get pedicures, trail runners get toenailectomies?
Haha for sure, currently I have one gone on right foot…one black on left….
After 9 Obstacle races this year, I have lost two…with my big toe black at the moment…
Road Runners drive fancy SUVs and wear dry fit hats…trail runners drive off-road vehicles with numerous dents and wear trucker caps! Lol
Road runners run hills, Trail runners run Mountains
Road runners post their training runs on facebook. Trail runners post pics taken on theire training runs….
Road runners collect race bibs. Trail runners collect scars.
Road Runners eat at a buffet after racing, trail runners eat a buffet during the race. Also road runners race. Trail runners finish.
Road runners run in place for traffic, trail runners run in place for deer and turkey crossing.